Back / Index

Time to make my very first of these... Oh boy.
I played ace attorney with a few of my friends today. Me and Puppy had already finished the main trilogy- Ren was completely new to all of it. We managed to get Turnabout Sisters done which considering how slow we tend to go is an accomplishment. I got the honor of voicing Redd White and Edgeworth, both of which were very fun. I'm excited to voice Franziska. I'm going to be awful at it, but I love her.

I'm having a lot of fun with this website, and there's lots I want to do with it, but i'm.. Exhausted. I'm glad for what this site has done for me, (I haven't opened social media more then briefly, nor have I been particularly tempted to when I do have the option) but i'm getting increasingly worried i'm going to burn out on making it. I suppose it's alright if I do, and nobody's FORCING me to make it, obviously. I want to really start putting myself out there in this community, but it's been hard finding stuff that's a good size... Not too small, not hugely overwhelming. I've had some friendly interactions with some other webmasters on here, so that's a good start. ...I promised I wouldn't just talk about this website on here, but, well, it's the main thing going on I could talk about, and i'm tired from earlier today. Voice acting even just among friends is one of the most tiring things in the world.

Talking out loud generally is, some days.

...Sometimes, honestly? I wish I didn't have a voice at all. Not today, really. I had fun, even if i'm tired now. Not... Well, no. It's less that and more I wish I didn't have a presence at all, some days. I wish I could cut away my shadow, my voice, the sound of my footsteps. I'm an incredibly social person. (Sometimes I wish being social didn't mean talking, text or voice.) I've made... Acquaintences? Friends?- With my neighbors, with quite a few people online, with some people at the craft shop, even. I like being a person. I like standing out.
But sometimes I wish I didn't have to be. I wish I could be an elusive wild animal, or a faceless body in a crowd, or completely invisible. I wish I could walk home in the dark safely, unnoticed. I used to be afraid of the dark as a kid, but not anymore. The dark hides things from your eyes, but it's not like I don't know what's around me, and I don't believe in monsters anymore. My feet and my sense of direction will get me home, summer sun or winter night. Around the house as well. So all it's really hiding is me- no watchful eyes. I'm home alone most days now. It took me time to adjust, but it's... Peaceful. It's nice not to be anyone at all. I resonate a lot with some strange combination of the Stranger and the Dark, for the magnusheads out there. (Though i'm not dumb enough to think that if I did live in that kind of world, I wouldn't be irrevocably marked by Death.)

Knew if I just kept typing i'd have something to say.